Good Girl, Wise Woman

Good Girl and Wise Woman – Finding support in troubled times

How can the Inner ‘Wise Woman’ support ‘a Good Girl’ on the Quest Toward Wholeness in Times of Global Crisis?

Researching ways to find connection with intuitive knowing to bring forth wisdom, love, and harmony.

The past couple of years have been particularly challenging for people. Along with the devastating global pandemic destroying society, we witness a growing polarization between families, friends, and coworkers. Values, representing the place where human beings could acquire sensibilities, attitudes, beliefs, skills, and dispositions to develop social principles, diminish.

Observing the evolution of global turmoil, I asked myself what is emerging within the human psyche we are witnessing and how women could assist in balancing peace, the values of justice, and wisdom? In pursuit of answers as part of a research project for my MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology, I chose to study how women can connect with inner wisdom – intuitive knowing. In my study, I concentrated on the most common but somehow ignored representation of the female psyche known as a Good Girl.

As a start, let me introduce you to a Good Girl

Women who resonate with the characteristics of a Good Girl are usually describing themselves as being highly agreeable, people-pleasers whose main job is to maintain the status quo of their being. From a young age, they were shaped to fit in the box of playing the role of being a daughter, sister, mother, and wife. However, the spiritual framework of their being was suppressed. Such an approach has young girls enter womanhood inauthentic and disconnected from their intuition with a limited ability to handle a wide range of emotions.

In my study, I invited eight women from various socio-cultural backgrounds who identify with the Good Girl characteristics to engage in guided meditation called Inner Dialog to travel inwards to connect with the metaphoric representation of wisdom. Thus, I hoped to give voice to the silenced aspects of the women’s psyche. During the interview, participants shared their Good Girl stories and described embodied experiences of their connection with the image of wisdom.

The image of wisdom

Jungian analysts such as Anne Baring and Marion Woodman, or Jean Shinoda Bolen explained that ‘women are influenced by powerful inner forces, or archetypes, which can be personified by … Divine Feminine’ also known as Sophia. She represents a sacred aspect of our psyche associated with wisdom, justice, beauty, harmony, and compassion, and it allows us to experience an authentic Self, a deep feminine intuitive knowing.

The idea that an archetype can be found in all cultures and individuals is not new. It was first put forward by Carl Jung, who associated it with the Collective Unconscious – meaning we are carrying around this part of ourselves without being aware of it. However, that begs the question: can we access Divine Feminine within ourselves? How can we awaken to that part of our being silenced for so long? How can we hear the soul’s voice that speaks to each of us below the edge of consciousness? One way of listening is paying attention to our dreams, visions, and intuition. I attempted to find that connection in my study by engaging in guided meditation.

Inner Dialog

An inner Dialog is a form of guided meditation introduced by Psychosynthesis (Psychology of the Self). The central premise of engaging in that exercise assumes that there is a source of understanding and wisdom within every person that knows who we are and where we have been and where we are going. As we engage in that aspect of ourselves, we can be guided to solutions during difficult times. In addition, we can be directed toward integrating the intrapersonal and interpersonal dimensions of our lives.

So, what happened during the meditation?

The study is not free from limitations; however, here are a few main observations:

  1. All interviewed women resonated with the Good Girl characteristics, demonstrating the parallels present in women’s psychology.
  2. During the guided meditation, all participants connected with the metaphor of wisdom that emerged harmoniously.
  3. The image of wisdom took shape unique to each participant.
  4. The messages of support were exclusively designed and delivered in the most loving and nurturing manner.

Can Good Girl be supported by her Inner Wisdom?

In this non-conclusive research, there is still much to learn and understand. However, there were some unexpected observations:

  1. Some women were surprised by the image of wisdom that their psyche revealed.
  2. One woman was unaware that a peaceful aspect of her psyche existed.

The results suggest that during the meditation, interviewed women:

  1. They could expand their frame of being by embodying the emotions that came with the experience.
  2. Brought to light the existence of the sacred aspect of their psyche that corresponds with what literature describes as Divine Feminine.
  3. They experienced their Authentic Self by sharing messages of support, trust and understanding.
  4. They recognized a need for ‘remembering’ to regularly connect with that aspect of themselves.

In conclusion, interviewed women connected with an aspect of their psyche associated with the metaphor of wisdom. That connection allowed them to enable a frame of being that brought a positive sense of Self and an intuitive way of knowing. Such experience has the potential to generate wisdom-based values that could be shared with society. Nevertheless, that approach could be incorporated with the current framework of clinical methodologies in women’s psychospiritual health. First, however, an in-depth study to better understand the long-term effect of that connection is suggested.


Baring, A. Awakening to the Deep Feminine. (2019, February 2). [Video]. YouTube.

Bolden. J. S. (2001). Goddesses in Older Women: Archetypes in Women over Fifty (Quill ed.). Harper Paperbacks.